Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
