I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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