i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
