if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
