Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
