we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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