I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
