Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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