Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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