I think I died a long time ago.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
