That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
