Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
