Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
