Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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