The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize