She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We need to get me chipped asap
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
