it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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