whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
