I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
