When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
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I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
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Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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