Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
