I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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