Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
