Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
