Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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