i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
