I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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