It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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