Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
