So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
