i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
