He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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