it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My breasts were aching with rage.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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