so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
