try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
