the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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