i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
