dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
