when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
