This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
