he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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