Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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