I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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