Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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