I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
