Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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