the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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