Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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