so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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