Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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