Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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