He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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