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• (248): View more from Michigan

  do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  RUDE.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  outsmarted mickey deeeees

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• (408): View more from California

  Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.

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• (818): View more from California

  I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  there was naked duck duck goose

  (703): View more from Virginia

  how does that even get suggested?!

  (815): View more from Illinois

  after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden

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• (972): View more from Texas

  The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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• (956): View more from Texas

  found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I like the wholesome side of you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.

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