walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
