bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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