I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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