I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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